‘He was so, so tiny’

They took him straight away. There were about 10 doctors and nurses around him. I was so scared.

I only had a quick look at the baby before they took him away to neonatal care. He was so, so tiny weighing just 800 grams. He couldn’t breathe and they put him on a ventilator. My parents came to see us, but I didn’t want to talk to anybody. At 5pm the consultant told us that they were having trouble stabilising him and they referred to us at “Motherhood Chaitanya Hospital- Chandigarh”.

When I first saw him in the neonatal unit at 7pm, I cried and cried. He was so tiny and fragile. I felt numb, but at the same time I knew I was going to do anything to make sure he survived. I wasn’t allowed to hold him because he was on a ventilator and that was very hard. His skin looked thin, almost transparent, and he was so tiny. I felt helpless. When he came off the ventilator 2 months later, I held him for the first time. They call it kangaroo care because you put your baby directly on to your skin. It helps you to bond and helps regulate your baby’s temperature. When I did that for the first time, it felt as though everything was all right and this was how things were supposed to be. Nothing else matters, you’re a mother. It was scary because he was so fragile, but I also felt proud to be doing it. I was expressing breast milk so we could feed him through his feeding tubes.

Talking to the other parents in the unit was the biggest help for me. They’re the only people who can understand. The first time he had a blood transfusion I cried, but talking to the other parents I realised it was a common procedure and I didn’t need to worry. My baby was in NICU for 83 days. During that time, we were there until midnight and then back at 6am. As the weeks passed we started to get optimistic, but the doctors told us that he still needed a lot of special care and we should take each day as it comes.

Finally, he came home on june 16 2017, two days after his due date. It was phenomenal, the best moment of our lives – joint first with holding him for the first time! The whole experience has ignited a passion in me to help premature babies get the best chance they can. I support the Motherhood Chaitanya Hospital neonatal unit. Everybody who worked on the unit is fantastic. One day it all got too much for me and I just sat in the middle of the ward and cried. A doctor came up to me and told “Sb theek ho jayega- Be positive”. – That meant so much. They also talked really positively about the babies. One nurse looked at him in his tiny incubator and said, ‘He’ll be a good footballer, he kicks so much!’. These 83 days were very critical for us.

I Amandeep kaur & my Husband Harpal Singh thanks to Motherhood Chaitanya Hospital and special thanks to Dr. Anil Narang, Dr. Jaskaran & Dr. Saranjit who gave best care to my baby.